Thursday, July 3, 2008

Rush of Fools...

I got my No Greater Joy magazine yesterday. What a breath of fresh air for me. You see, I have had an internal struggle for the 4 years we have lived here. I need encouragment from time to time. *U* It seems we have had, for the most part, until recently, only two choices for social life. None, or else ignore as best as possible fools and try to undo the damage at home.

My Soapbox

Church's don't help. Actually they are the bigger problem. The pressure to hurry up and bustle your kids off to the youth group and Sunday school classes even when you are just a visitor- is ludicrous. I want to say to children and youth workers at churches:

You mean I'm supposed to send my children, unsupervised (by me) to a group of bad mannered, bad-mouthed kids whose own parents can't keep them under control and so therefore gladly send them to you each week? You leave harried, worn out and frazzled thinking you have done a good deed. When actually you have done nothing more than enable the wretchedness of this whole failing system. Parents should train and teach their kids. If you want to do a good deed, train young couples to parent their own kids.

I'm not saying there's not a place for those classes and groups- kids from the neighborhood come in and need someone to teach them if they aren't in believing homes. There is a need for those classes.

But did you ever notice the kids who behave the worst are kids in Church?

Did you ever stop to think that allowing kids to be brainwashed all day at school, peer pressured to death, and then fed junk food and entertained all day with electronics and porn-based lyrics in songs that you don't moderate is not only harmful, but is a waste? Is wrong!? Our society is going to reap the bad fruit of this. Aren't we already?

I think churches don't always have the best of motives for drawing in all those kids to entertain. Kids bring in adults. Adults bring in $$. Cynical? I know. I hate that about myself.

I live in a place where 1/3 of the adults are public school employees.Including the Sunday school teachers, youth workers, Bible study leaders...etc. Where most Christians send their kids to day care, then preschool, then the local government school...inbetween they stuff them full of goodies, buy them everything their eyes lust for, neglect teaching them courtesy or manners (and OH! How that shows!) Then parents congratulate themselves on their kids not being "as bad as so and so's kids" and march them off to youth group to be wined and dined with fun and games and pizza.

We don't do that. We are judged, critizised, and clucked at...I am so weary of that.

We are strict, we believe the Bible, we have goals, vision for our family, and we have standards. Imagine that. But- we are also fun, have alot to do, have a tight family that discusses ideas and we aren't religious. We work hard and we play hard. We discipline and we train. We are sooooo far from perfect, and don't think our kids are any better then anybody else's, but we are on a mission, and see ourselves as missionaries- to our kids.

We realize the children must choose for themselves. But, at home, armed with truth, and given the freedom to learn in an environment free of the world's pressures...they stand a better chance.

I know I sound really defensive...but I just think the hardest part of our whole challenging lifestyle here as believers in this community is other Christians.

I know what direction we are traveling...I won't be moved. I will continue raising my own children and dodging fools. Bad company corrupts good morals, it's true. Sometimes my own kids are the fools, and so we need to pull some weeds in their little gardens, but I'm not sitting around hoping someone else will "fix them". When they are in that condition I don't inflict them on others either.

No, I won't give up, because secretly some of those "other" people have come to me and expressed that they wish they had children "with such nice manners", or they wish their children would "sit quietly", "Not talk back", etc. etc. So even though I take alot of guff off of people around here for the way we raise our kids, I see that others are watching...and learning. People whose children are public disgraces who wonder why nobody will invite them to their home for a meal may give me the dirtiest looks, but I suspect that they secretly wish they knew my "trick".

Here it is for free- I believe the Bible.

Look around. The world system isn't working. If what you are doing isn't working...then why continue? Because it's routine? Familiar? Is that any reason?The world system by the way, has infiltrated the American church- long ago. Not just the American church either.

Those who think the status quo is "just how it is" can visit their kids in jail someday, or raise their grandkids while their parents "dry out" in rehab, or whatever. You reap what you sow. As an individual, a family, a community, and a country. It's looking pretty bad, isn't it? You know it is. I see it, and it bothers me. The whole dilema for me as a mother is, do I try to influence for good at church, or do we get out of there and live our convictions without interference? I know it's wrong to segregate or seperate ourselves, I really do, but I get so discouraged when I see what's going on, and when it effects my own children.


Here's a good DVD for parents with boys. We respect Michael Pearl, appreciate his wisdom and the ministry he does with prison inmates. I'm hoping we can minister to kids before they become prison age! *U* I know alot of people don't like Mike Pearl. Whatever. I don't like your humanism, secular lifestyle, and poor manners, but most of all I feel really sorry for your kids.

Please don't leave me nasty comments- I really have to admit I couldn't care less. Really. You go your way and reap what you sow in your field and leave me alone to do the same. In the end we shall see...


  1. Wow, what a thought provoking post...sure got me to thinking....wish I could spend a whole weekend with you...we would have a are an amazing woman, wife and mother....I know, not perfect....but one who at least keeps trying and seeking God....keep those posts comin':-)


  2. HATS OFF TO YOU!!!! You hit the nail on the head. I agree with Connie I wish we could spend a whole weekend together and talk and pray! You said exactly what 90% of my inner strugle the last couple of years has been also. Well put. If we are going to be bible believing Christians then shouldn't we start acting like it? Too many people worry about hurting peoples feelings but aren't we supposed to be outside of the norm? Thank you so much for this post and helping me realize there are others out there that feel the same way!


  3. Yeah Dalyn! I agree 100%! Michelle

  4. Dalyn,
    You said it!!! I admire your honesty and conviction.
    I hope your children realize what a gem you are...and what a wonderful up-bringing they are receiving.Hold your head up HIGH!
    Thank you for sharing with us.

  5. Can I forward this on to all the church's here? Thanks for taking the time to share your heart on this!

  6. I was just overwhelmed when I read your post. Sometimes my husband & I think we're the only ones who feel this way. We, too, have dealt with such harsh critism from our Christian family & church folks. My heart has been so heavy about this for some time.

    Reading your post has been such an encouragement to me. I even ran to get my husband and tell him that I had to read it to him. We're not the only ones!

    Thank you so much Dalyn! You have blessed us tremendously today.


  7. Do you listen to the Christian band "Rush of Fools'? Check them out

  8. Dalyn,Have you tried a family integrated church? They are hard to come by,but we have searched out and attend ones where the kids sit with you in service.Of course it must have sound doctrine,but the churches we attend teach what you discuss.Where the kids are all homeschooled and it's The Bible taught and lived by not anything else.Vision forum has a great cd called The role of children in the meeting church and surprise Sunday school has it's roots in evolutionary thinking. there's also a site called The center for family integrated churches.Just type that in search.It gives you Washington's listings.It's very frustrating and lonely when you have been given biblical truth and yet most Christians don't want anything to do with it.God bless,Linn

  9. WOOHOO!!! You go, girlfriend!! We've been at our current church for 12 years...for a LONG TIME we were the only homeschool family in a church w/at least 4 famiies where one or both parents are teachers. It took a while but there are 3 families (at one time there were 5) who homeschool in our church of around 125 regular attendees.

    Having girls who are 20 and 17, we too have had to deal with "do we let them go to youth group or not?" It has helped that we are 35 miles from our church ( :-) ) but we elected to only let them attend on selected occasions. They ARE in Sunday School and, HONESTLY, there isn't a week that goes by that our 17yodd's teacher doesn't come up and tell us that she is the only one who answers questions and participates w/o being cajoled into getting off their rears and joining in!

    Our 20yodd is a "founding member" of our current Young Adult group. No one else would do it! We graduated her in '06 and she has taken 2 years off of school (she will be going to college this fall) to work and to get invovled in ministry. Just about 3 weeks ago, a new Manard's came to our area - we've never had one here before. 20yodd got a job there, worked 3 65 hour weeks before they opened (set up & training) and when the families were allowed to come in the store the night before they opened to the public ALL of her bosses went on and on about what a great person she is, what a great personality she has, how willing she is to do ANYTHING they asked her - and to it well - and not complain. My dh and I were so proud we could have burst!

    Why is it that our "poor, sheltered, unsocialized" homeschool kids are the ones who are the leaders, the ones that have the magnetic personalities, the ones who get things done? None of our 20yodd's bosses had ever even MET a homeschooler and she says that they have just been amazed that she fit none of the stereo-types that they had heard of...and they meant that as a compliment! :-) She has not been shy about telling them that their preconcieved ideas about homeschoolers are for the birds! It's actaully been kind of fun for her. She has also told us about how just by politely maintaining her testimony and standing her ground on a couple of moral issue-type conversations that most of her co-workers are very mindful of the language they use in front of her. Every little bit counts.

    Thanks for letting me brag - but I actually hope this came off more as a confirmation for the way you are raising your kids, as I know yours are younger than mine.

    Blessings from Ohio, Kim Wolf<><

  10. Dalyn,

    I'm not a big blog reader but I just happened by yours today... and... um... what can I say but WOW! How come I haven't gotten to know you better? And, of course, when are we starting out own family integrated church out here in the toolies together!?

    Your post expresses the desires of my heart, to care for, protect and fulfill my God-given duty to teach and raise my children in the honor and admonitin of the Lord.

    Keeping your children out of *practically everything* is so hard for them and for us. But I know that it's the right thing.

    Thanks for that, Dalyn, may you be nothing but blessed in your endevors to do what is right.

    Jennifer Mitchell

  11. I love to read that other families feel that same way we do. I am really sad at how our society handles child care. I hear mothers say they can't wait for school to start or they can't wait to get back to work. I wonder what people think when they have children?? Do they want them to love and teach and grow or do they like them because kids are cute?? It is really sad. I am happy to know that there are others out there like minded. Children are our future. And we all know that you get out what you put in. God bless!!

    By the way, I bought some of your soap a while back and I LOVE it, thank you.

  12. You go, girl! Don't hold back! Woohoo! Very well said and I agree 100%. Thanks for having the guts to say all that - too bad more people couldn't do the same!

  13. You said it! Nearly all your thoughts are thoughts I've also had before. Although, many times when someone comments on my children my response is "it takes a lot of work"

  14. Great post!! We too, after moving here, have struggled with "Church".

  15. You posted on my blog last summer and tonight I found myself here reading this post Thank you for saying exactly what I needed to hear. Have a Blessed Day. we are in Eastern Wa as well. Spring

  16. EXACTLY! I am a big Pearl fan. My husband and I find ourselves in the exact same struggle. You describe so many of the churches we've been "visiting". It's frustrating.

    Just checking in on you. Hope all is well.

    Blessings, Danielle


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