Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Fostering Newborns


"I have come to realize more and more that the greatest disease and the greatest suffering is to be unwanted, unloved, uncared for, to be shunned by everybody, to be just nobody (to no one)." Mother Teresa of Calcutta

We have both agreed at long last (years of waiting for me!) to become foster parents. We'll do the foster/adopt training just in case we fall in love.
Alot of people have told me it's crazy. I have a full life here on the ranch with four kids, and one of them, adopted as an older child from Africa, disrupted after 3 months by her original family, has not been easy to live with. That adoption did not turn out like I had thought and hoped...the first six months I adored her even though I could see she was a potential monster...and she eventually confirmed that thought. But the truth is, she has come a long way baby, and so have we. We have learned alot, and I know that fostering newborn babies would be beneficial for all of us, as well as good for the babies. I also realize we will have our hearts broken a time or two...or three. But better to live with a broken heart than to not live at all, eh?
Maybe.

1. I think of  those little newborns in the hospital, with no home to go to, maybe suffering drug withdrawal,perhaps nobody willing snuggle them close and pray for them. Nobody willing to bond with them because they aren't their own little babies.Nobody to bath them with Johnson & Johnson's and make them smell so good you can't help snuggle them. Babies need to bond with somebody to be healthy. If they leave my home and break our hearts- bound to happen- at least they will have been loved, cherished and prayed for. That's my heart.

2. I want all of my childrn to learn to care for babies. Especially the one mentioned above. It's important for her to see healthy mothering of an infant. In her culture...well, let's just say that's lacking. All children should learn empathy.

3. Both my husband and I spent time in foster homes as children- he as an infant. I think somehow us doing it for some other child is right.

4. This one is really selfish maybe, but since I didn't have a father around, or even ever met my own biological father, and I never had brothers, I always loved and adored males. I always wanted brothers, and was very close to my uncles, grampa, and cousins. I adore boys and want to have more...but Doug and I are done having our own. so maybe one of the little sweeties that comes to us will end up becoming a permanent member of the family. I'm hoping that when I'm old, I'll be surrounded by loving children...my own of course, and others who were mothered by me even if I wasn't really their mother.

5. That leads me to the last one, and it's this. I always wanted nothing more than to have a husband, children, and live on a farm when I grew up. As a kid that little fantasy got me through alot of hard times, and now, as a gift from the LORD, totally undeserved, just because He is good and cares about all the details of our lives- I have that fantasy. I can't help thinking about sharing my good life with others. Especially little newborn babies. I love them!

When I worked at a hospital on the mother/baby unit I was never so happy. I had my fill of newborn babies for 8 hours. I loved it. Some people are nervous and not confident with newborns, so there's a big need for foster parents for these little ones, and my husband and I both adore newborns. So...it seems good. Besides, I need to get over my fear of more children after the last one...she made life miserable for a couple years but I can't allow that to stop us from taking a chance again. Even if we don't adopt, but end up fostering only...we will be touching lives in a way only a believer can. With love, security (even if it might be temporary) and prayers.
What do you think? Will you pray for us? Am I nuts? Wait...don't answer that.

And isn't it a way of "Serving the least of these"?

18 comments:

  1. Way to go!!!! We were totally blessed through the foster care system with two of our five children. We had a few bumpy roads along the way but I look at them now and am amazed that they are where they are. Part of that is the lifestyle we choose, a big part being homeschooling, but the biggest part is know that GOD has a plan for all these children. I was walking down the road with my two youngest (8 and 10) yesterday thinking "I could soooo do this again!" I miss the little ones around, and we are the same place you are, no more for us:) So I continue to pray that he would open those doors for us again. God bless you and your family as you start on this journey and we will be praying!

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  2. Bless you! This is beautiful and wonderful. I'll pray for you. Congratulations. And if people say you're crazy, well that's better than being boring and selfish. Praise God for people like you who are crazy for Him!

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  3. Dalyn, My husband and I got liscenced to foster infants in February 2009. It has been such a learning experience for us. We also have four children at home, one of which was adopted at the age of 6 from China. Fostering babies has worked well for our family. It is hard in the ways that anyone would imagine - getting up all through the night and ultimately letting them go at time of placement. All I can say is - my God is faithful. I have seen Him, time and again, help me with the letting go. What you and your husband are going to do is of eternal significance - never, ever doubt that. You will be that newborn's mother all the time that you have them. I wish you and your family all the best in the world as you begin this endeavor!

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  4. How awesome of you and your husband to open your home to these children. The best thing is you are listening to God. We have friends who foster and it is so cool to see how these children can change when they know someone loves an cares for them. Have a great day and you will be in my prayers.

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  5. Once again, you're living my dream. I have prayed and prayed and prayed about this. So far, my dear husband is not ready to take that step.

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  6. wow, I am so humbled. Thanks for all your kind words and support- I didn't expect that. Michelle, dear lady, I have waited for about 8 years for my husband to say yes to fostering *U* It's been a long wait! Praying works!

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  7. Congratulations! You are so deserving of this Blessing.. farmgirl hugs to you.
    Cheryl

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  8. Dylan, you are truly a blessing. What a wonderful thing for you and your husband and your children to commit to. The love you have for these babies brings tears to my eyes. Yes, you and your family will be in my prayers. May the Lord bless you all!

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  9. Clearly God is opening doors for you to minister! He really does give us the desires of our hearts and gives us areas to use the gifts He has given. What a Godly example you have set to wait until God called your husband into this next step of your life. Thanks for sharing honestly about your adoption. Often times people think adoption is easy, and as adoptive parents we feel the need to come across as perfect. It is hard, these kids have a lot of baggage that no child should have ever had to experience, it is just hard sometimes. But, you are so right, God uses it to grow the kids and the moms and dads. Praying for you, and I'll be anxious to watch what God does!

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  10. you are all so sweet and supportive, thank you a million times! I really will need your prayers- every one of 'em! The Lazy J lady- thanks alot, and I think I know who you are and will visit your blog *U*

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  11. That's awesome Dalyn! Made me a little weepy.. :)
    I can't IMAGINE doing that myself, which only proves God surely does give us both the desire and the ability! Good for you for listening and following His lead. Love you guys!!!

    Jess

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  12. thanks Jessica. You know, when I had a house full of little ones I wouldn't have signed up for it either! YOu have your own babies to care for...the most important job in the world!

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  13. Dalyn,
    Good for you! It will such a blessing to you, your family and the foster children.We also have adopted a child (boy), from the Philippines.He also had a disruption and the potential to be a monster. He really responds well to having a strong father, I don't know if I could have handled him if I were a single mom. Now he is such a good boy and I know he was always meant to be a part of our family. The way God orchestated it was so amazing. Now we have 2 foster sons, Native American, (Yakama by the way) so the chances of adoption are pretty much nill, I was also hesitant because of the risk of broken hearts for all involved, but again I think God put it all together and we love them so much we can only trust Him to be in charge of this. We also have 3 bio daughters so that makes 3 girls, 3 boys and I couldn't feel more blessed! Go for it, you might be a little crazy, but it's a good thing! God bless you...Lil.

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  14. Children are a reward from the Lord! How wonderful for you to follow the Lord's leading to take in children who need the love of Jesus! And if you thought you could totally handle it, then it's probably not from God. :) He needs you to depend on Him.

    My mother-in-law took in over 250 foster children over a course of about 45 years, including my husband. Whenever anyone at work asked her husband how many children he had, he'd say, "I don't know, I haven't been home yet." They'd take any child at any time. The hardest part was having them leave. But she said seeing them adopted to good homes was wonderful. Some just moved on to other foster homes. A few were adopted.

    I will certainly pray for God's guidance and blessing upon you all!

    Jennifer:

    P.S. Thought of you on Monday when I started back to P90X. How about you? I'm certainly sore and trying to decide if I want to go through the regular program or the "lean" program with more cardio.

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  15. Michelle! Wow! What a story. Amazing! I loved that. SUper woman- that I'm not, but what a great story to start this thing out with.
    P90X huh? That's funny, because I felt pms-y lastnight and stayed on the couch too long- watching the P90X infomercial again *U* I had just about determined to start that torture up again. Maybe I will now! If you are being tortured, I feel better ")

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  16. Well, I'm an atheist but can see truth in that statement by the late Mother Teresa of Calcutta. I've found your story interesting ..and comforting too, Dalyn. As I write I am in charge of a little newborn girl who is only four days old and is sleeping in her Moses Basket, by my side, as I write. This pretty little soul is our first foster child and up till now I've quietly wondered to myself why my wife and I are doing this when life could be a lot easier now that our own three have flown the nest. I've tried to tell myself not to get too attached but know already that that won't work; I guess I'll just have to endure a broken heart when the time comes..she looks just like ours did at their births. Must heat that bottle up!
    Best wishes and hope things have been going well for you,
    Ste

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  17. Ste,
    yes, the sleepless nights...exhausting. But I have a number in my head- 600 to 700 children a month coming into foster care in my area. Compliments of a socially ill culture. I believe it exists because without a very big God to believe in and trust, people lose hope. I know because I lived that life. People do some crazy things when they've noone to be accountable to or to look to for help and assurance, meaning and purpose. You have a giving heart and a loving one, or you and your wife would not be loving another woman's newborn. Blessings to you dear man. Hug your wife for me!

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