Yes, I'm foster pregnant.
What does that mean?! You think I'm crazy? Well, that's up for debate...but anyway, what I call foster pregnant is when I know- I mean somehow I just know- I am going to get another foster baby. Not a child- a baby. I'm selfish and it's just easier to bond with a baby, even though they are obviously harder to care for in a lot of ways.
I don't mean to sound like I am excited. I'm not. I'm anticipating. I'm anticipating cuddling and snuggling,finding out if it's a boy or girl; personality and story... but I'm also anticipating diaper blowouts, sleepless nights and so many darn appointments with state workers and doctors that it would make your head spin. It's not easy. It's not exactly fun. It's just that the Lord put it on my heart and I know I'm going to take another baby soon.
Don't get me wrong, I'm no Mother Teresa. I don't selflessly love every child I see. I love for my laundry to be caught up, and my house to be tidy and library books to not be overdue. I like to sleep and be able to cook nice dinners for my family and someone else who needs one now and again...I like to go sit at Starbucks without a screaming baby.
But when I start nesting, and thinking about a baby every night when I get into bed, and first thing in the morning, I know. There's a baby coming. I'm foster pregant.
I'm tidying the house, getting rid of stuff and making room...I'm sleeping as much as I can and I'm enjoying as much peace as I can with teen boys and an 18 month old boy. I'm reading as much as I can, and taking bubble baths when I can. (although last time someone let the baby loose and he jumped in the bath with me, fully clothed, while I had soap in my eyes and they were closed...THAT person got in trouble!)
All I can think is, "here we go!" Take a deep breath and get ready for what God's got...