Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I've learned Something About Myself...I'm Crazy


My life is busy. My responsibilities: huge. I am for a great deal of the time, a single parent. My husband is gone. Alot. Those of you who know me know there are some major issues I need to deal with in my life. Changes and problems. Who doesn't have some of those?
Well, I realized tonight I am crazy. A nutjob.
Sitting in Biblestudy, (sometimes my only break during the week) I missed a call on my cell and had a voicemail. It was the after- hours social worker that delivered my foster baby to me 4 months ago. She had a newborn at the hospital that needed placed...was I interested? Of course not.
I didn't leave class to answer her call. I wanted to pay attention to the study. But my fingers kept twitching. I kept picking up my phone...I turned it to vibrate. I kept one eye on it. I prayed. I reasoned with myself. I'm too busy. I'm stretched thin now. But I have an unused bassinet sitting next to my little foster baby's bed. He's too big for it now. I wondered if the baby was a boy or a girl? I thought of the boxes of clothing I had for both. The extra bottles, formula and diapers...I thought how tired I am half the time and how I feel like crying some days when all I want is a little help or a nap. Maybe both. In the end, it was no use. I knew I was going to call her back. Thank the Lord, who has far better sense than me, that social worker was just leaving the hospital on her way to deliver the newborn to someone else. She had just found somebody.
whew! Close call.
But I learned that I get excited at the thought of another newborn, no matter the sacrifices (which would be many, many, many!), no matter the hardships, and no matter what state of chaos my life is in. I need help. What was I thinking?

9 comments:

  1. Yep, that would be me! I have done the same thing...and then called, and thankfully, God knew, and the baby already was headed to their foster home.
    We can thank Him for always knowing what we need and what we can handle.

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  2. I think it's sweet and betrays your true heart and it's why I love you so much.

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  3. I'm thinking you have a beautiful heart:)

    D~

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  4. Dalyn, I really admire you. I am a homeschooling mother to a senior in high school and I could not imagine having the time or energy, as much as I want to help children in the foster system, to be able to do what you do. Have you always been this organized and together? I do not mean to pry, but the fact that you were considering bringing someone else into your home means that you have some amazing qualities,I would love to know how you do it all. Thanks for being an inspiration to me. Holly

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  5. Dear anonymous, nobody ever looks as good in person as on the web or in a book. Have you heard the song, "So much cooler on line?" Well, isn't that me and everybody else? Sure it is. I'm not anything special at all, but I do have somebody special. Jesus. Blessings to you dear lady, and remember please, that everybody has different gifts and callings. They are given by Jesus Himself and so never to be despised. Where you are and what you are doing are all for a purpose. ")

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  6. "If you want something done, ask a busy person." 'Nuff said. '-)

    Blessings from Ohio...Kim<><

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  7. You have a big heart! I think we are all a little crazy, and some of us are a whole lot of crazy!

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  8. Ah, a tender heart and God knows it too. Look after yourself.

    I'm enjoying looking around your blog..I was attracted to the title and am so encouraged having a look into your life. Thanks for sharing!

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Thanks so much for taking the time to leave a comment Be blessed!