My Broken Heart

We are foster parents. We knew ahead of time there would be broken hearts involved in this ministry. Including and especially our own. Well, today I got to put my own broken heart on the altar for the first time. I know it won't be the last. Scary.

Saturday we got a very new baby, discharged right from the hospital. Juggling a newborn, along with our 9 month old foster baby, lack of sleep and all the appointments and phone calls and meetings required of a new foster placement, really wore me out. I think emotionally I could think clearer with more sleep! We only kept the baby four days because Doug's shoulder was getting abused trying to help with two babies. He had surgery in January and isn't supposed to be using it yet. Handing the baby over to the new foster mom today was hard, but it was a punch in the gut to me when toward the end of the meeting I found out the baby would be going to daycare 5 days a week as soon as possible. I really wish I could have kept him here! A newborn shouldn't go to daycare at all. He needs time. Oh my aching heart!

Another heart ache is that I found out that where I live (an area of agriculture and alot of rural living) there are between 600 and 700 children placed in foster care....a month!!

What is wrong with our society?! I mean, that's a huge number. That's a problem. The families losing these kids are often steeped in drugs, alcohol, crime, and violence, generations deep. The kids stay in care because their grandparents and aunts and uncles are in no better shape than their parents. That's sad.

We need to get praying and acting church. Oh yes we do.

At the end of fall I will take another baby I think. I am waiting because I know that it's rarely a short-term thing and I need to operate as if it's a permanent situation. This time I will make sure we can handle a new baby and the rest of our life and kids, because I never want to hand one off to another home again. Shuffling children about is so wrong for them. Terrible. My heart is still broken and if it weren't for my husband needing his arm to "win our bread" I'd still be suffering for lack of sleep with a newborn, and juggling every minute of the day with two babies and two other sons who need me as well. There's no shortage of children if you are willing to risk your heart and sacrifice your days...and nights. Eternity is at stake for these kids, and life here on earth. So many broken lives. I hope we can stop worrying about our entertainment and comfort long enough to remember them.