It's happened to every child at one time or another in his life. He inadvertantly hugs the wrong set of legs and then looks up...into a stranger's face!
As any foster or adoptive mom knows, bonding is a touchy subject. One that can cause some definate concern and at times anxiety. Add in any kind of trauma in the child's early life, and well, you might just have a recipe for attachment disaster on your hands. Or not.
I smile here. Because I know- God is good.
Christmas eve we went to the evening service at church. I heard it was a fine message. I don't know, because a certain active little baby boy was not interested in listening, which meant of course, I wasn't going to hear it either. Nor were those in the seats around us. So, we went out to the foyer, where a handful of other chagrined parents were allowing their little ones to run around the tables and floor, to get their wiggles out. I sat in a comfortable seat along the wall and watched my baby play with two darling little asian girls.
I have always called him "mamma's baby". I wore him in a wrap when he wouldn't attach and I sang to him (poor thing!) and told him he was "mamma's baby and I loved him. I prayed over him constantly when he was an infant suffering from the effects of drugs and neglect. And I told him he was "mamma's baby" because I knew it was vital for him to bond, even if they took him back later, like they said emphatically would happen. So, we all stuck our hearts out there, him included by 7 months old. That was when he bonded. He suddenly wanted to snuggle. He wanted me. He began to put on weight and he began to play. I knew he had bonded. His whole personality changed and he was healed once he bonded.
Back to the Christmas eve service...
As he ran in circles and played with the little girls, three women came in late and walked past me. He ran right into the last woman and grabbed onto her legs. He was giggling and happy- until he looked up. He saw a face he didn't recognize and then he just stopped. He gave her a look I couldn't decifer, then looked over at me. He let go of her legs and raced over to where I was sitting, put my knees in a strangle hold and layed his head in my lap, his face in her direction, and yelled out, "Mamma's Baby!"
Oh, bestill my heart.
I'll never forget that.
He took ownership of me, and wanted her to know he belonged to me.
Yes! He is without a doubt mamma's baby and has been since I first laid eyes on him.