It had been a particularly hard day. Well, I'll be honest and say it had been a rough few days.
She put her little hand out and patted me, "mamma, you're my girl."
I remembered I had said that to her affectionately before the "honeymoon" phase was over.
I groaned inwardly because I couldn't stir those feelings up again.
I feel like I'm the one with attachment disorder lately. Believe me, you can get like that when you wake up to attachment issues right where you live every day.
This isn't easy. Lately we have dealt with behavior and issues that we just don't know what to do with. Don't want to deal with. Sometimes I want to bag out of this. Thinking of the future frightens me. I ask myself what it will look like when this little person isn't so cute anymore as a 12 or 13 year old treating me with contempt and disrespect, acting our in self destructive ways that make me lose sleep and grind my teeth.
Why don't I worry as much about those things with my other not-bio kids? Because I dealt with it to some degree or other with my bio kids, because we have strong attachments and because love covers a multitude of sins is completely true. (1 Peter 4:8)
So I'm in prayer mode. Feel free to pray too.