Walk to Beautiful by Jimmy Wayne and Ken Abraham

 

I began this book without ever having heard of the name Jimmy Wayne; at the tail end of my foster parent journey, but by the end I was convinced that even though I knew I wouldn't continue as a foster mom, I need to continue helping kids in some capacity. I thank Jimmy Wayne for helping me come to that conclusion.

 

I just have to say by the end of it, I became a Jimmy Wayne fan, and I'd never heard a single song. We have a lot in common, and no, I'm not the tiniest bit musical, but reading about his growing up years was all too familiar to me and it was a bit of a dark day as I read through. It just took me back to incidents I had wanted forgotten. We could have grown up in the same neighborhoods, it was that familiar. 

 He was not just a survivor but a "thriver". We have Jesus in common, and a great passion for the fatherless and foster kids. I now consider myself a fan of his music, after having taken the time to find the songs on iTunes that he wrote about it in the book. I'm not much for country music either, but hey, they are really great songs!

 

This charming and boyish guy has a big heart. He does a lot to raise funds and awareness and even helps to change laws, for foster kids. I'm so impressed with him as a person. Quite extraordinary, and it was a breath of fresh air to find another soul in this world doing good things for other people. The world could use more.

His song Paper Angels, and the story behind it, have inspired a sweet little movie. See the trailer here

Having been one of those kids who received gifts from a similar program at Christmas, I can attest to the difference kindness makes. Even from a stranger. I have an old picture of my little sister and me, wearing coats and holding dolls that a complete stranger bought us, next to a Christmas tree that other strangers brought to our home and decorated for us. I remember they also brought boxes of food, and to kids who sometimes had bare cupboards, that's exciting! So, this Christmas when you have an opportunity to grab a little paper angel off a Christmas tree with a child or family's name on it, grab it! I'll bet you will be blessed to be a blessing to someone who could just about use a little kindness.

 

 

 

 

I hadn't heard of Jimmy's walk halfway across America called Meet Me Halfway probably because it got over shadowed by the earthquake in Haiti, about the same time. Check out the link, I think you will be impressed. He walked to bring awareness mainly to the foster kids who "age out" of the system at 18 and have nowhere to go.

(Of course most of them end up homeless and then jail, on a street corner prostituting- unwillingly, dealing drugs, or dead. Who could expect differently of a kid with NOBODY? No one to call for help, no one to send them a birthday card, or set a seat at their table at Thanksgiving for them...nobody to care if they live or die. This has been a soapbox of mine, having a cousin who aged out. My sister and I were also in foster care for a while, and other of my relatives. This really hits close to home for me. Most people never think about these kids, but Jimmy Wayne, having been one of them, rescued by a couple full of Jesus and His love, remembers.)

 

He finished the last leg of his race on a broken foot, no less.

 

 

Walk To Beautiful by Jimmy Wayne with Ken Abraham was hard to put down, because of personal reasons but also because it was fascinating. His past was memorialized quite well in a journal he kept since 6th grade as well as receipts, tickets, and other things, so at times the memories seem meticulous in detail. He kept them in ziplock bags to preserve them from the weather and constant moving. It's an honest, sometimes brutally so, memoir written by a man honest with his feelings and who has been able to graciously forgive and just tell his story. His childhood was traumatic to say the very least. His mentally ill mother abused not only substances but her children as well. The word neglect an understatement. The various men she brought into their lives were broken people who in turn damaged and broke her children. Terrible beatings, abandonments, watching people murdered, religious tones in his mentally ill mother at times confusing him about God, his sister married off to an abuser at age 14...being shot at, laughed at, scorned...wearing the same dirty clothes day after day, he grew up having never been valued as a human being until he met Bea and Russell Costner. (Lord, let there be more like them!)

 It's a story of betrayal and violence and lots of dramatic moments but also hope and love and selfless kindness. Jimmy's story proves that love really does rescue. He says of Bea Costner, who took him in as a teenager, "She changed every cell of my body." Man, I want to be a Bea! When Bea and her husband Russell took Jimmy Wayne Barber into their home, he was homeless, dirty, and smelled like it. After her husband died, Bea continued to  love and care for Jimmy. They were close even after he became an adult and began his career in music. He used to pick Bea up so she could attend his performances; she sat at his concerts in the front row, with the screaming girls and read her Bible! Precious visual.

 

I loved this story. I devoured it, even though it did take me back to some of my own dark days as I read the first half. His life now makes me remember that our pasts cannot make victims of us unless we allow it, but instead we can turn it around and let Jesus do something marvelous and redeem the pain. We can, by the grace of God, see others and help them out of their pits.

Jimmy is generous in sharing personal details. You won't be disappointed with this book. It delivers.

The mother in me wanted to rescue him as I read through the pages of his childhood. The child in me related too well. But the betrayed and rejected can become like Bea-and  like Jesus for someone.

 

 I'm blessed to have read Walk To Beautiful. I received a copy by the publisher for free in order to review it.

 

 

 

 

 About Jimmy Wayne (from his website):

Jimmy Wayne is a former foster kid turned country music singer/songwriter whose songs and story highlight his mission to bring awareness to kids who age out of the foster system and become homeless. With hits such as Put Your Hand In Mine, I Love You This Much, and Paper Angels, he released Do You Believe Me Now, his biggest hit to date for which he earned the millionaire award for having 100,000,000 radio spins in America. In 2009 Jimmy toured with Brad Paisley and recorded Sara Smile with Hall & Oates. In 2010, Jimmy walked halfway across America to raise awareness for kids aging out of the system. The next year he became CASA’s national spokesperson and released the novel Paper Angels. In 2012, Jimmy helped get the bill passed extending the age of foster care to 21 in both California and Tennessee. Jimmy lives in Nashville and continues to raise awareness for kids by writing, singing, and speaking.

 

See Jimmy Wayne's website

 

Ken Abraham is a fourteen-time New York Times best-selling author known around the world for his collaborations with high-profile public figures. A former professional musician and pastor, he is a popular guest with both secular and religious media. His books include One Soldier's Story with Bob Dole, Payne Stewart with Tracey Stewart, Falling in Love for All the Right Reasons with Dr. Neil Clark Warren, and Let's Roll! with Lisa Beamer.

 

See it on Amazon and even listen to a sample of the audio book.

Buy it on CBD

 

 

Deployed by Mel Odom

Have you ever had a book that was just too good to put down? You stayed up way too late at night reading when you knew you needed a good night's sleep, but...well you just had to find out what happened next?!

That was me with Deployed.

The characters developed so well I actually had to check again to see if this was fiction. Bekah, Daud, Pike and Heath, I won't forget you! (Bekah I was rooting for you!)

This was action and war, so maybe not for the squeamish. It's a story of faith and overcoming and accomplishing  what you feel called to do. Some by God, others by necessity and still others by revenge and hate. Daud and Pike made me think another way about bad men vs. evil men. Bekah made me think another way about women in the military and what it costs them. I'm considering other people's stories and what brings them to where they are now.

This would be a good movie! I very much enjoyed this book.

 

 

*I was given a free copy of this book in exchange for reading it and writing an unbiased review. Tyndale House Publishing*

 

 

From the Back Cover

Lance Corporal Bekah Shaw joined the Marine Reserve to support herself and her young son when her ex-husband decided they were no longer his responsibility. Deployed to Somalia for her current tour of duty, she learns that her team must protect international humanitarian efforts and hunt down the terrorists responsible for the violence and carnage. The mission seems straightforward until the team encounters a renegade, a ghost who seems to be fighting against both sides.

Rageh Daud once lived in contentment with his family in Mogadishu, Somalia. But when that life was torn from him by a terrorist attack, he vowed to avenge his loved ones whatever the cost. Raising an army of men from the displaced people scattered through the countryside, his only goal is destruction—until he encounters an orphan child he feels compelled to protect.

When their worlds collide in a desperate situation, Bekah’s Marines and Daud’s militia realize that their only hope for defeating a common enemy—and their only chance at staying alive—may be to form an unthinkable alliance.

The "Real" Kids

I had someone write to me this morning and it was upsetting. On the one hand she was thanking us for what we do with the foster kids. She's a woman with a big heart and I appreciated her kind words. But sometimes I feel guilty because...well...I don't want to do it anymore. It's hard. Our culture isn't big on community. Our families fall apart for many reasons, a big one being the isolation. For some of us, there aren't cousins, aunts, uncles, siblings or even grandparents around to help and encourage. Raising kids is a monumental task. Why is it that we are expected to be able to raise them well alone?

 

But then stories like the one this lady shared with me jerk me out of my comforting thoughts of having some "me time" and riding my horse, and sleeping all night and even-gasp: sleeping in some mornings!! Am I selfish? Maybe...So different from you? No. The truth is raising children in this culture is difficult at best.Drugs and alcohol, trauma, neglect, abuse issues- well it makes you want to be sick sometimes. When I get details of the kid's family lives before they came here I sometimes feel like no amount of soap will get rid of the taint on me for having read that. Imagine how they feel.

 

Here's part of what was relayed to me this morning:

 

"I won't forget a conversation I had with an 8 year old foster child a few years ago. I asked him what his plans were for Christmas and he told me that he didn't know. He said that the year before that he just stayed in the bedroom while the 'real' kids opened presents. .By then he was with a different family. Broke my heart into pieces"

 

 

 

That kind of stuff seems small potatoes compared to what has already happened to put these kiddos in foster care. But...really?! You couldn't find it in your heart foster mom and Dad to buy a couple of gifts and at least include this child? What makes a person behave like that? I'm not entirely sure but here's the deal- I was treated like that by close relatives at times too. They played favorites and I wasn't the favorite. At times to the point of being excluded from family gatherings and gift giving.

 

Do you know what message is being sent? "You're not worthy." Among other things. But the saddest thing is that the message, once implanted is almost impossible to eradicate. It's a dirty lie, planted like a seed in the young and fertile soil of a little child's soul that grows into a sinister vine- choking out life. Choking out anything beautiful that could and should potentially grow in the soul. The enemy of our souls is real, and oh how he loves that stuff!

 

The picture below is disturbing but it's a picture of what's going on in the spiritual realm.(as well as the natural, sadly) Imagine a child's soul as that undernourished and dying, lonely figure. Unprotected and vulnerable. That vulture/demon waiting for death or at least near death to start feasting.

It's sick. Our culture is sin-sick. That means WE are sick. What's wrong with us that we would inflict that or stand by and let it be done?

 

So, what are you going to do?

Can you not spare some time to tutor or mentor? Buy a winter coat and boots or a doll? Can you not spare the change to take a kid out to lunch at Burger King and look into their eyes and let them know they matter for the love of all things holy??!!

Can you not share some of the burden?

There are so many things you can do even if you aren't in a position to do foster care or to adopt, or even if you flat out just don't want to- which, hey- is okay. I'm not trying to throw something heavy on you; I'm just asking you to wake up and do a little something. Show your humanity in offering a little bit of something of yourself to another human being that at least in the spiritual realm is being beaten and kicked by words and attitudes and messages sent on purpose or inadvertently.

 

*Submit to a background check

 so you can babysit for an afternoon. You might be surprised at how many good foster parents rarely or never get to go out on a date, celebrate their anniversary or just get a break.

 

*Provide a meal or gift basket of practical items when a family takes on a new child or children.

 

*Visit the family as often as you can be an "auntie", uncle, or grandparent to the kids.

 

*Provide a gift card to a teen in foster care. Mentor them. Spend time and listen to them. Their hopes, dreams, histories.

 

*Help them with college or job applications. Or with getting a driver's license.

 

Do you know that a very large number of kids that age out of foster care leave with nowhere to go? They wind up homeless, in jail, prostitution? What would you do if you were turned out like that? With nobody and next to nothing? Your belongings in a garbage bag, sending a loud and clear message to your soul:  "Unworthy. Garbage. Unwanted. Unloved."

Who the hell is going to erase that kind of message??

Jesus. He asked us to do that.

(the bold is mine)

 

2 Corinthians 5: 18-21

All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: ¹⁹ that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. ²⁰ We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. ²¹ God made him who had no sin to be sin^[b] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

 

Because: " Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8) Yours, mine, and ours. Thank You Jesus.

***

 

The holidays are coming. Can you make a phone call to your local children's services and find out if there is a foster kid who is about to age out? Invite them for the holiday celebrations? Do you know so many of those kids have no table to put their feet under at Thanksgiving and Christmas. They don't get birthday cards. As a matter of fact many children still in foster care don't get birthday gifts or cards. In America we have so much crap we have to rent storage units to hold it all. I'm sure we can spare something to give to someone with nothing. The idea isn't to transfer your "stuff" to them- it's to share a message that they matter. They are seen.

People should matter to us.

They matter to God.

We have the opportunity to love others. God desires us to love others. It's written all throughout the Bible. It's the main message. God is loving and He wants us to be loving. People aren't suffering because God isn't looking. It's because we aren't. Or we are ignoring. Willfully blind to another's sufferings. because it interferes with our comfort.

We are given a choice. We have the free will and ability to love. If someone is going unloved, uncared for, it's because there's someone close by choosing to ignore that.

 

 

 By the way, kids aren't in foster care or put up for adoption because they are bad.

The longer they are without a loving home the harder it becomes for them though.

 

If we want good citizens there's a whole bunch that we need to change. Go look in the mirror and start right there my friend.

No condemnation. Just a hopeful nudge toward "the least of these."

Because I love them. And you.

 

 

I Have Attachment Issues

 

It had been a particularly hard day. Well, I'll be honest and say it had been a rough few days.

She put her little hand out and patted me, "mamma, you're my girl."

I remembered I had said that to her affectionately before the "honeymoon" phase was over.

I groaned inwardly because I couldn't stir those feelings up again.

I feel like I'm the one with attachment disorder lately. Believe me, you can get like that when you wake up to attachment issues right where you live every day.

 

This isn't easy. Lately we have dealt with behavior and issues that we just don't know what to do with. Don't want to deal with. Sometimes I want to bag out of this. Thinking of the future frightens me. I ask myself what it will look like when this little person isn't so cute anymore as a 12 or 13 year old treating me with contempt and disrespect, acting our in self destructive ways that make me lose sleep and grind my teeth.

 

Why don't I worry as much about those things with my other not-bio kids? Because I dealt with it to some degree or other with my bio kids, because we have strong attachments and because love covers a multitude of sins is completely true. (1 Peter 4:8)

So I'm in prayer mode. Feel free to pray too.

 

 

My Heart Doesn't Know

 

My heart doesn't know that my body didn't carry this beautiful child. It doesn't know that I didn't give birth to him and nurse him. My heart only knows that he belongs to me. That I'm his mama, and that when I hold him tight and inhale the scent of this little rascal I could snort him right into my soul. I love him so much.

Bonding and attachment don't always work like that. Sometimes it comes right away and sometimes it takes longer. Sometimes much longer and occasionally not at all. It takes work in some cases. Strenuous. Maybe it's not like giving birth physically but it feels like it emotionally. Want some freedom? Read Jen Hatmaker's blog post. I love that she's funny and real.

It took me much longer to bond with the baby girl we have. I am in the process of struggling through the "honey moon is over" phase with the older girl. It's only been 6 weeks or so, and I'm not expecting a bond to form anytime soon, but some days it feels like the enemy has a stranglehold on me. Literally. Fear is scary. Profound, right? But when I'm anxious and really giving way to fear my throat gets swollen and infected. This time it's closing up my airway even. For real. I had to go to a doctor and get steroids to stop the swelling. It's lame, but it's the truth. I need to breath.

I know that's a temporary fix and the problem is really spiritual. I know that faith and thinking worthy thoughts and telling myself God's truth instead of my weak flesh's truth will be the only way my throat/heart will heal.

Adoption is scary and exciting and good and it's placing yourself and your whole family on the front lines of a battlefield. Why do I always forget to keep my armor on and get ready for war?

So what am I afraid of?

Tense relationships. They are a strain. Without love, everything is hard. Irritating. Faults are magnified. It's depressing and it's guilt/dread/ inspiring to wake up to a hard relationship day after day. You feel trapped. It's all-consuming. It's also sin.

It has to be beaten. Living by feelings is dignity-stripping wrong.

So, I'm going to my happy place and I'm going to smile and dance around the kitchen and I'm not going to give my mind over. Feelings shall have no say for awhile. I'll check back in with them later, but for now we are going to shut the volume way down on those little liars until we are all settled in.

I'll  let you know when  I let them back out.

For now I'm digging out my sense of humor and giving myself a spa day.

Don't judge me.

 

Horseback and Fitting In

Merging little people into an already established family is rocky terrain. Hard going. I'm not going to lie. But, it's so worth the trouble when it works.

Today it was a gorgeous and sun drenched fall day. Who knows if it's the last one of this season? I knew I was going to take advantage and get outside with the critters.

 I rode my crazy mare and after she got good and tired I let my two preschoolers sit on her back for pictures. My teenaged son was on the other side holding on to the sitters leg- no worries.

Were there ever two cuter kids? Well, maybe my older three were just as cute. I am so totally blessed in where I live and who I live with. God is so amazingly good.

My children are beautiful, aren't they?

 

Psalm 68:6

Holman Christian Standard Bible

God provides homes for those who are deserted. He leads out the prisoners to prosperity, but the rebellious live in a scorched land.

 

It's Good

Our new little girl has the fat little baby in her lap on the floor, "reading" a book to her. Sometimes I just think to myself how nice God is to rescue little people who are alone in the world. How nice He is to us too, to be part of that.


Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may lay her young, at your altars, O LORD of hosts, my King and my God. Ps. 84:3 (ESV)

These children have found a home.
I have found my home in Jesus and hope to lead them there.

 

Love Covers

Love covers a multitude of sins.

 

I always think that with my adopted and foster children. 

The sins of their biological parents. The sins of the generations before that. The sins of a society that culminates in an absolutely flooded foster care system. We in the U.S. are so proud that we don't have orphanages...oh yes. We do. They are just private, mini orphanages called foster homes. We are a licensed  foster home, but we don't like that label. We are a family that cares for the children that God gives us. For awhile or forever. When a child comes to our home they become part of the family.

 

Tonight after her bath and braiding her wet hair, she turned around and gave me a little kiss.

Little by little and bit by bit we are all letting our walls come down. It's too bad life has been bad enough at times that we build those walls. Especially little children.

 

... There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. ... There is no fear in love;

but perfect love casts out fear: because fear has to do with punishment. ... 1 John 4:18

I'm learning that perfect love really does cast out fear. Dr. Caroline Leaf, bless her heart, is really helping me to be set free from things that hinder love and a healthy mind.

Her book called "Switch on Your Brain" is revolutionary. Science + scripture = LIBERATION!

You can actually change your DNA with your thoughts. Your brain is able to change, heal, grow...you can increase intelligence, memory, and the best thing is that this stuff gives me such hope for my children. Trauma and emotional wounds do not equal permanent damage. They. Do. Not. I love that.. I need to know that.

 

 

GOD'S WORD® Translation

Above all, love each other warmly, because love covers many sins.

Raggedy

She came here today on what's supposed to be an unlucky day. Friday the 13th.

Shy and afraid until she gets comfortable, then she's a sharp little chatterbox.

She came with the standard black and red Coke-a-Cola overnight bag that most of the kids in foster care come with. The company donates them I suppose. She has a little teddy bear with a bow around his neck and a couple of holes in his little plush body. A symbol of her heart? Abandoned and forsaken twice. Been through a series of new homes and rejected for adoption twice in the past month. 

The statistics for legally free, adoptable kids in the state foster care system are that less than 3% of them get adopted. Really. Shame on us.

Babies get adopted but an almost 5 year old? Tough. Too much baggage. It's true. Emotional pain and trauma that is debilitating sometimes. 

So... My kids say, "Mom, it's the right thing to do!" I'm proud of them.

My husband was my " fleece before the Lord" and I figured I was pretty safe there. He didn't want to adopt again. We have been hoping for a little rest and fun together in the future. He came home today and saw her asleep on the toddler bed. His heart changed immediately. He didn't tell me until tonight. 

Me- well my emotions run the gamut. I would selfishly vote for self preservation, I'd like to be done with this business of opening my door and heart to broken children. Sometimes it's no fun. But the truth is I have found riches and blessing in the hugs and smiles of my little sweethearts. One minute I'm going crazy and the next my heart is melting and all the frustrations are forgotten.

Sometimes I feel as raggedy as this little girl's teddy bear. But I know my Father and my King, He doesn't leave me raggedy. He tenderly mends the rips and tears. And He does it much neater than my repair job on that teddy, now clutched in her little arms in the toddler bed.

There are so many things I want to do... And little ones certainly slow me down. But how can I turn away? After the generosity of God toward me, how can I look the other way when somebody needs a place to call home and a family that will always be family? At holiday times, graduations and weddings and funerals? Life? When a person needs someone to tuck them in with a story and prayers and kisses, and someone to fix their teddy bear and care of they have toothpaste and if the need their nails clipped and whether or not they know Jesus?

Ya. I can't.

I need to get over myself. I need to not care if I have shabby sheets, my hair is out of style and I can't afford things I want. I need to not long to go places my friends with grown kids are going and I need to stop wondering what it would be like to have a quiet thought to myself some days.

Honestly I couldn't sleep last night and I'm near to tears thinking about another major upheaval in my life and plans. I see my "freedom" slipping away from me. But I realize what has become my idea of freedom is probably not God's. I want to cry and feel sorry for the overworked, bedraggled woman I feel I am somedays.

But then again, I'm not 4 years old worrying about who will ever love me and keep me. She found somebody willing to stitch up her teddy bear. Whatever else needs stitching will require Jesus and I can introduce her to Him. 

Some things are important to us right this minute. Other things for eternity.

Not everyone loves the KJV but it's what I have on my iPad these days so, anyway....

Deuteronomy 14:29 (KJV)

And the Levite, (because he hath no part nor inheritance with thee,) and the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, which [are] within thy gates, shall come, and shall eat and be satisfied; that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all the work of thine hand which thou doest.

Job 29:12 (KJV)

Because I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, and [him that had] none to help him.

Job 29:12 (KJV)

Because I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, and [him that had] none to help him.

James 1:27 (KJV)

Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and] to keep himself unspotted from the world.

Renegade Review

 

When this book came in the mail my husband nabbed it before I could read it and review it, so... I figured he could write the review. I particularly wanted to read this because it's the story of a guy who had been in foster care- a subject near and dear to me. I'm going to read it next.

 

Here's Doug's review of Mel Odem's "Renegade"

 

***

 

Renegade is about a man named Pike Morgan; a loner with a rough past who grew up in various foster homes.  It is this past that has shaped Pike today, and today his past haunts him as he struggles to avoid relationships while trying to right the injustices he sees around him.   When Pike is called into service by the Marines, he believes he may find some solace from his current struggles but instead finds himself in a life and death battle with a determined and ruthless terrorist as well as with the marine corp. As the walls he has carefully created to begin to crumble, he must make a decision between selfless honor or returning to his selfless retreat into a life on the run.

I thought Mel Odom’s Renegade was a well written, fast paced thriller that demonstrated that even the hardest of hearts and toughest of men can find redemption through selflessness.  I enjoyed the read and will look forward to following this character in any subsequent books.  In fact, Renegade is book 2 of the series entitled “Called to Serve” and I’ll be searching for Mel Odom’s first book in this series entitled “Deployed” so I can see how Pike Morgan got his start.

 

Important Things

 

Keeping in Mind the Important Things

Feb. 2013

(this was a message I shared with our homeschool group)

I’ll be honest: I’m tired, dry, and often overwhelmed lately. SO much so that I completely forgot about getting a speaker for tonight. To top it off I had no topic in mind.

About a week ago I remembered this was coming up and I panicked! Out loud. My husband looked over at me and said, “Dalyn, why don’t you ladies just talk about what’s really important?”

I knew exactly what he was talking about because he reminds me all the time-

Whenever the house is a mess (OFTEN) and I get stressed about it.

When I have juggled sick or crabby babies and appointments all day (OFTEN) and haven’t even thought of what to make for dinner-(AGAIN)- and start to feel like the world’s worst homeschool mom because I’ve sent Ben off to figure out an assignment for himself (AGAIN)because I’m too busy or too tired to even think. I’m up at night with fussy babies and up early to feed the preschooler and toddler and exhausted by 9 AM.

Or I’m feeling condemned because I haven’t been able to sit down and read my Bible for days (AGAIN)- Doug says, “Dalyn, quit complaining, so you don’t get to read it? You’re living it!” 

And that’s the point right there- we are living life with our families-either faithful to God’s Word or not.

Our families- husband and kids- are more important than the laundry,

The dirty dishes,

The lack of sleep or messy house.

It’s the people who live and visit inside the house that are important.

Just this week I had a friend call me sobbing- one of her adult sons was leaving home for the first time and going to work in another state. She knew it was time for him to go and work out being a man-  but all she could think of watching him drive away was that she wished she had held him and hugged him more- wished she hadn’t cared about the housework for one minute- wished she didn’t have a bunch of regrets and where in the world did the time go? It seems there’s never enough time with our kids when they’re older…days when they are little it seems there’s too much time, right?  J

We women are the heart of the home. Our kids will leave home with memories. Hopefully good ones- about traditions and rituals, and favorite meals and comfort and security. We women build community and family. We make or break the whole operation. It’s a heavy responsibility, but more than that it’s an amazing privilege.

We can see that when our priorities are in line with God’s.

Do you remember when Pharaoh ordered all the Hebrew baby boys born to be killed at birth? The midwives who were given those orders disobeyed. Then they made the excuse to Pharaoh that the reason they hadn’t been killing those babies was because the Hebrew women were more vigorous than the Egyptian women and gave birth before the midwives arrived. Don’t you love that not-so-subtle dig on the Egyptians?

Do you know how the LORD rewarded the midwives? Exodus 1:20 says He rewarded them by giving them their own families!

Today’s modern woman might not appreciate that. As a matter of fact there are a number of feminists that might be offended by God’s idea of a reward.

To be rewarded with a household to care for? Hungry husband, dirty socks? Poopie diapers and dirty dishes?

Doesn’t sound like such a generous gift when you look at it like that, huh? Maybe that’s what’s wrong…focus on the negatives instead of positives. Peanutbutter and jelly fingers instead of hugs with chubby arms and gifts of dandelion flowers from a sincere heart?

Today’s modern woman might rather have the reward of an all -expenses paid vacation away from responsibilities instead. But God sees things differently and we will too when we align our thoughts with His Word. Truth is stranger than fiction. J

One evening not long ago I actually had a bit of free time. Imagine that. I turned to my Bible and an app on my iPhone that has the Strong’s definition of almost all the words in the Bible. I took apart Proverbs 14 and got stuck on 14:1 for an hour. Then I spent a little time on 14:4. These both really spoke to my situation and clarified, at least for me, God’s mind on the matter.

Let me read these to you- (Bible/notes)

 

Proverbs 14:1

“The wise woman builds (BANA- build/by obtaining children) her house (family), but the foolish (silly) pulls I down (destroys) with her own hands (means, power, direction).

Proverbs 14:4

Where no oxen (family) are, the trough(manger,stall) is clean; but much increase (abundance, income, produce) comes by the strength (vigor, force) of an ox.

Now, let me read a paraphrase to you in light of the original meanings of some of those key words:

The woman with God’s wisdom builds her home and family – she obtains children, but the foolish, silly woman destroys her home and family with her own power and means and direction.

14:4 An empty house stays tidy, but abundance comes by the vigor and strength of a family. (think in agrarian and figurative terms)

 

I was given a lot of strength with this little study of mine. It confirmed again the direction my family has taken. James 1:27 in the Amplified versions says this:

External religious worship [religion as it is expressed in outward acts] that is pure and unblemished in the sight of God the Father is this: to visit and help and care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and need, and to keep oneself unspotted and uncontaminated from the world.

I’m often the foolish woman instead of the wise- but when I’m feeling bogged down with my circumstances- dirty diapers and 4 AM feedings and early rising every morning- the Lord and my husband both affirm these as much more important than the ideals I keep in mind:

A sparkling clean house

A well-ordered and directed school day for Ben

A gourmet dinner that I’ve grown and raised from scratch- my hobbies

Those are good things. But they are not the most important.

Back to Ben and homeschooling- he may not be getting a stellar education at this moment in time, but he is learning to live generously James 1:27 among other things. I have no intention of shirking on his education for long. I firmly believe in educating and equipping my children for anything God calls them to- this just happens to be the equipping season I guess.

Ben is a 14 year old boy who:

Reads his Bible on his own

Makes homemade pancakes from scratch for breakfast and sometimes dinner too, because he likes to do it.

Changes poopie diapers without being asked. For real!

Makes me a cup of tea when he sees I’m weary.

Prays with and for his little brother.

These are more valuable to his character than acing the SATs I think  J

See, I’m trying to keep in mind what’s really important.

Everyone has seasons of difficulty and trials and it’s easy to consider giving up when we feel we aren’t doing a good job, or when we feel in over our head.

But God doesn’t raise quitters. He raises up mighty warriors. Much of the language of the Proverbs 31 passage is written with military terms. We women are meant to fight for our families. We do that in so many ways. For one thing we provide the most valuable thing- a comfortable and nurturing environment in which to raise eternal beings entrusted to us by God Himself.

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded….” Hebrews 10:35 a

And we all know how God rewards women who please Him. J

I think I Will Be Doing This For Awhile

Introducing~

 

I'm happy to introduce you to sweet little baby "B". Her given name is hard to pronounce and in another language so she has been given a nickname.

 

She was born 6 weeks premature and has gained quite a bit of weight already, over a month later.

Like always, it's a sad story, but God...

He is a redeemer. A Rescuer.

I'm so glad.

He has given us the priveledge of being the hands and feet of Jesus for this little one of His- "this one of the least of these" in our society.

She came to me in the outfit she had on. I had a lovely time taking this little sweet thing on her first shopping trip. She is now initiated into the female world. *U*