Saturday, September 14, 2013


She came here today on what's supposed to be an unlucky day. Friday the 13th.
Shy and afraid until she gets comfortable, then she's a sharp little chatterbox.
She came with the standard black and red Coke-a-Cola overnight bag that most of the kids in foster care come with. The company donates them I suppose. She has a little teddy bear with a bow around his neck and a couple of holes in his little plush body. A symbol of her heart? Abandoned and forsaken twice. Been through a series of new homes and rejected for adoption twice in the past month. 

The statistics for legally free, adoptable kids in the state foster care system are that less than 3% of them get adopted. Really. Shame on us.

Babies get adopted but an almost 5 year old? Tough. Too much baggage. It's true. Emotional pain and trauma that is debilitating sometimes. 

So... My kids say, "Mom, it's the right thing to do!" I'm proud of them.
My husband was my " fleece before the Lord" and I figured I was pretty safe there. He didn't want to adopt again. We have been hoping for a little rest and fun together in the future. He came home today and saw her asleep on the toddler bed. His heart changed immediately. He didn't tell me until tonight. 
Me- well my emotions run the gamut. I would selfishly vote for self preservation, I'd like to be done with this business of opening my door and heart to broken children. Sometimes it's no fun. But the truth is I have found riches and blessing in the hugs and smiles of my little sweethearts. One minute I'm going crazy and the next my heart is melting and all the frustrations are forgotten.

Sometimes I feel as raggedy as this little girl's teddy bear. But I know my Father and my King, He doesn't leave me raggedy. He tenderly mends the rips and tears. And He does it much neater than my repair job on that teddy, now clutched in her little arms in the toddler bed.

There are so many things I want to do... And little ones certainly slow me down. But how can I turn away? After the generosity of God toward me, how can I look the other way when somebody needs a place to call home and a family that will always be family? At holiday times, graduations and weddings and funerals? Life? When a person needs someone to tuck them in with a story and prayers and kisses, and someone to fix their teddy bear and care of they have toothpaste and if the need their nails clipped and whether or not they know Jesus?
Ya. I can't.

I need to get over myself. I need to not care if I have shabby sheets, my hair is out of style and I can't afford things I want. I need to not long to go places my friends with grown kids are going and I need to stop wondering what it would be like to have a quiet thought to myself some days.

Honestly I couldn't sleep last night and I'm near to tears thinking about another major upheaval in my life and plans. I see my "freedom" slipping away from me. But I realize what has become my idea of freedom is probably not God's. I want to cry and feel sorry for the overworked, bedraggled woman I feel I am somedays.

But then again, I'm not 4 years old worrying about who will ever love me and keep me. She found somebody willing to stitch up her teddy bear. Whatever else needs stitching will require Jesus and I can introduce her to Him. 

Some things are important to us right this minute. Other things for eternity.

Not everyone loves the KJV but it's what I have on my iPad these days so, anyway....

Deuteronomy 14:29 (KJV)
And the Levite, (because he hath no part nor inheritance with thee,) and the stranger, and the fatherless, and the widow, which [are] within thy gates, shall come, and shall eat and be satisfied; that the LORD thy God may bless thee in all the work of thine hand which thou doest.

Job 29:12 (KJV)
Because I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, and [him that had] none to help him.

Job 29:12 (KJV)
Because I delivered the poor that cried, and the fatherless, and [him that had] none to help him.

James 1:27 (KJV)
Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and] to keep himself unspotted from the world.


  1. You're breaking my heart, Dalyn:) Yes, shame on us. Praying for you all, my sweet bloggy friend. What a precious gift God has given you to care for the least of these.

  2. Wow. I am sitting here in tears right now. Every word is in my heart and mind. I know right where you are. The questions, the selfishness, and the answers God gives us. We talk about taking a break from it for awhile, but is that what God wants? I will be praying for your family. God will lead.

  3. Tomorrow.........the last step in the process to open our home for foster/adoption; a final walk through. Tomorrow. Later, we do yet hope to start an international home study. We're just not sure there is just one adoption in our future. ;)

    I appreciate your heart...I have worked through some similar things/feelings/sacrifices in getting to this place. I had planned to work in my gardens, care for ponies and goats, get involved in civic activities, have lunches with friends, and take drives and trips with hubby, etc. once my kids graduated from home school. It wasn't a bad plan, but apparently it wasn't at all God's plan. And once he made it clear to me what His plan was w/ adoption in our future, I actually long for it. He has eclipsed my lesser plans with HIS better ones. What more could we want!?

    I'm so glad for your "Jesus following heart"! And I pray for, continued vision and determination......well-springs of love flowing out from your momma's heart.....just all that you need to rise up to His call on your life and your family in joy and peace. Believe me, it's inspiring! ♥ And right now, I'm thinking of that tiny girl and her ragged teddy...and her good fortune and blessing which will unfold to her in years to come.


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